Poem for Sam

Below is part of an email that I received from Nikki. She asked me to share it and I am very glad to. Thanks Nikki

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While it is difficult to move forward with less intensity in the feelings of missing her, it is also comforting to know the healing is happening. I have found that when we lose someone the pain is often difficult to let go of, perhaps because it's what we have left and when it fades with the healing it can be a confusing transition. Nowadays I smile so much more when I remember Sam and when I speak of her the tears don't really come. Acceptance is, of course, a necessary part.

A few months ago I had an interesting experience with a bobcat and Sam. It was deep and spiritual.

For a few days I'd been caught in Samantha thought. Wishing she were here... having so much I wanted to share with her. Me...my kids...time had brought depth to my realization which is the difficult part for me.

Anyway, I was up very early one morning and I heard without really hearing, a bobcat and I looked out my window just before it walked out from behind the van. I got a sense of knowing, once it passed through and down the driveway and gone that it was Sam...the following is what I wrote after then dusting of her picture in a flood of tears I needed to shed once again.

Today I miss you
Tears falling washing my heart
Sharing joy is gone

Vanishing I thought
Still in my heart you remain
Closer than I thought

BOBCAT SAM

I saw you today
I heard you but not
I caught a glimpse as you walked
( pranced, strutted, glided) out into the open
pausing twitching revealing
and you continued your path alone
I, alone, saw you today.