Jan's Email

Jan, Samantha's Mom, sent me this email. She was planning to enter it as a comment but I believe it deserves its own entry:

Dear Tim,

I've tried to call you a couple of times but I guess you were busy or didn't get the message to call me back. It sounds like you have been very busy.

First I want to thank you for the beautiful DVD. I have only been able to watch it once threw tears of sadness and regret, with some laughter thrown in here and there in remembrance. I will cherish it always. I got sam's autopsy report on the same day as the DVD, so my emotions were running wild. The reality hit me hard once again.

As you know, as adults I tried to get Sam to let go of the bad memories and get to know the women we were now. She just couldn't let the past go and I just couldn't let it back into my thoughts and dreams. I have run too far and hard from those horrible years and except for Sam's questions or "remember when"s I have succeeded in getting very far away in body, mind and spirit. I could not go back and change it and I could never tell her why, so the gap of misunderstanding just grew wider until we were estranged for the last couple of years. I never dreamed I would never see her again or get a chance to build a bridge across that gap.

I am relieved that she knows the answers now but wish they could have come in an easier way. I look forward to her telling me why, when I see her again.

I am so proud of what you are doing with "In Vision" in her name. She would be so proud of you too.

As the law's of protection change and people like you and your company care and try to understand the cycle of abuse, there is more hope for those Little Sam's and their mothers.

If they can find a way out of the fear and hopelessness and see that people care enough to help them up out of the hole, they have a much better chance at life and love.

There were many Christmas times that an organization like this, along with family and friends made our Christmas when I couldn't. We always managed to have something under the tree from Santa. This was always the most exciting time of the year for Little Sam and the saddest for her mother.

Please don't forget when the season of giving is over that those women and children are still out there struggling to be free of the hurt and indignations of their everyday lives. There are many ways out and sometimes we choose the wrong ones time and again in our own struggle to survive. Sometimes it takes a strangers outstretched hand to say, "come this way. I don't have all the answers but I can show you there is a better way - a way out."

It took me many years to break that cycle of abuse that even Sam didn't see because I never seemed to make the right choices. I Pray that with your outstretched hand and support it will give many Little Sam's and their mom's a better choice.

It would make all the pain worth while and give some meaning to our quest to understand life, to know that your love and caring could help just one "Sam and Jan" not have to ask why about the past or be afraid of the future.

Thank You again Tim for ALL that you did for Sam and for this wonderful gift in her name. Life is good when you learn what real love means. When you know better, you can do better. until next time...........
With Love and Respect,
Jan