Not sure if I will ever make this post public or not... but weekends really suck to the point that I hate them at the moment.
All I want in life is to have a loved one next to me with a family. My job, my financial security, my house, none of that matters without a family.
Weekends are particularly tough for me. It is very hard for me to ignore that I am quickly approaching 40 years old, without a family in sight. When I am at my lowest, I feel like I have wasted the last 12 years of my life.
It causes me a great deal of pain. I do have moments of motivation, seeing more positive than negative, but it is tough for me.
For people in my life, please understand that if I am short or not open or not communicating, it is for this reason. I also understand that I need to be more open, communicate more, to allow the individuals that love me to help me.
I do appreciate each and every one of you. I also know that life will get better, that I will love the weekends again, it is just a matter of time.
More "upbeat" postings later this week...